The Great Family Media Choice Irony

Is anyone else concerned with the fact that many families, and especially parents, think they are immune to the effects of spiritually corrosive media. I hear families, parents and teens talk about their desire to see this movie, or play that game, and I cringe, knowing that many of those movies and games morally negate the principles they learn and even teach in church.

Many reasons are given, it’s just entertainment, I close my eyes in the bad parts, there are only a few bad parts-and they’re really not that bad. I’m old enough to not be influenced by it. They only kill zombies, which don't really exist anyway. I even hear many say, “It doesn’t have any sex in it, only language, or only violence—but it is the 'good-guy taking down the bad-guy' type of violence, not senseless violence.” (I’ve even been known to say such things.)

Some even share these entertainments with their children. Others say, “no way, they aren’t old enough for that.”

Think about that for a minute. So we protect our children from spiritually corrosive influences because they are violent, sexual or have bad language. We believe in our hearts that in order to keep our children pure and unstained from the world we must keep such things from their lives. We believe the violence, sex and language affect their personality and perceived belief of how to act and respond in the world. We believe it affects their spirit.

I would ask, why is it different for adults? Why is it we think that as we get older we can be surrounded and even invite such influences into our lives without any negative effect on our spirit? The truth is that every influence in our lives adds to and builds our character and personality. Every choice we make either strengthens or weakens our closeness to the spirit. You can’t check your testimony at the door of the movie house, or the redbox or couch, and expect it to be the same when you pick it up again. If you congratulate yourself for watching only a kind of bad movie, instead of a really bad one, then you're missing the Mark.

If it’s not good enough for our kids, then maybe it isn’t good enough for us, too. Just think of all the free time you'll have!

Agency

                We are taught from an early age the importance of agency, and its role in the plan of salvation. Agency is the freedom to choose. We talk about that freedom often, and encourage our kids to choose the right, but do we teach the other half of agency? We are free to choose our actions, but we’re not free to choose our consequences.

                Sadly, I’ve seen many parents who choose to protect their kids from the consequences of their actions. They push the blame of their child’s bad behavior or academic performance on anyone but their child. If their kid is failing math, it’s because the teacher is a terrible teacher.  If they act out, it’s because they need to express themselves and the teacher is too controlling. If they get caught speeding or drinking or other infractions with the law, it is their friends fault, or worse, the cop is targeting their kid and should leave them alone.

                I guess what I’m saying is that our kids need to feel the consequences of their actions. When we protect them from consequences, we’re raising children without guilt and remorse. We’re teaching them that they are above everyone else, and that arguing can get you out of everything.

It is ok to let your child fail and experience hard times. Pain and suffering are part of this life and if we protect them from the consequences of their actions, they never learn to correct their actions. They never learn true agency and responsibility for their actions.

As with many things, this must start with you. Your example speaks louder than words. If your kids see you argue about blame or guilt (try to get out of a ticket, push blame away, even put others down to lesson your ‘crimes’), they’ll learn it’s ok.

Have the strength and humility to say, “I’m sorry.” Admit weakness and guilt. It doesn’t weaken your kids view of you, it strengthens it. If they know mom and dad aren’t perfect, but are trying to improve, they’ll believe they can too.